-SAILS-

SCRIPTURE: “Now, if anyone is enfolded into Christ, he has become an entirely new creation. All that is related to the old order has vanished. Behold, everything is fresh and new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) 

OBSERVATION: Paul once again penned a letter of love and life-giving principles to live by, reflecting the person of Jesus and the hope of heaven. Our bodies are like tents that will be folded up when we die, only to be transformed into new creations that will withstand eternity.  So, in light of eternity… what do we do with the groanings we endure this side of heaven?

Paul encouraged the people in Corinth to love Jesus and to love one another, embracing the fact that we are new creations this side of heaven. Why? Because we have the gift of the Holy Spirit within us that enables us to be and do what we could never dream of in our own strength. The key to unlocking this mystery is vulnerability and the power to turn the key is trust. Will we be a people who live by these keys? That is the question for me today…

APPLICATION: We are “Enfolded into Christ”… what does that mean?  Well, I’ve been thinking about this principle for the past 9 months.  Every time I sit down to write my thoughts, there is a hesitation. So, this morning I choose to push through that to see what awaits me on the other side.

–SURRENDER–

That word connotates weakness and defeat in western culture. Not so with Jesus.

If/when we choose to surrender our heart to God, there is an exchange that happens that is unseen yet felt nonetheless. Heaven redefines our surrender to Jesus as victory. When we raise our hands in surrender to Jesus in worship, Heaven sees this as an act of faith that cannot be ignored.

I’m a ‘Triple Dad’, a Father of 3 Amazing young adults.  When they were little, and came running to me, sometimes crying with open arms… it didn’t matter what I was doing… They became my #1 focus. I dropped everything to kneel down, embrace them and simply love them through whatever was causing their pain.

I was with them in it and helped walk them through to the other side… sometimes carrying them to the other side. It’s what I did, and still do… in principle. “Kids” at 23, 21 & 17 rarely come running as they did @ 3. Now, Dinner Table Conversations, Phone Calls, Facetime chats and even Texts suffice. But once in a while, the tears still come… and I’m there with them, embracing them, loving them, honoring them. When my Kids choose to surrender their fears by letting me into their world… it creates an environment of authenticity that brings healing. What else can a Dad ask for?

-AUTHENTICITY- 

I don’t see authenticity modeled very well in my life. Most people are closed off, critical of one another and simply calloused. I too had my season of shielding up to most people because of what was brought against me wave after wave after wave. But life is meant to be much more than survival. So, I chose to do the hard work… the heart work… in order to move on in freedom. I Surrendered to Jesus by choosing to be real with Him. I chose to be real with Him.  I chose to open my heart to Him.  I chose to be Authentic with Him.

This song has literally been playing for the past 9 months. In my car during my Seattle Commute, Quiet Times, in my Office, at Home and more. There is something to this song that hit a chord within my heart in such a deep place, that words have been difficult to find. If you’ve known me for any length of time, I have no problem with words 😉 And yet, this song?!

“I Let Out the Sails of My Heart” – What does this really mean?

In nautical terms, “Letting Out the Sails” means to depower the boat. As the wind/sail angle decreases, the sail loses power. In other words, letting out the sail is a way to slow down and even stop in the water… So why would this lyric be used? What about this hit me so deeply?

For me, it helped me define my choice to trust Jesus during my storm. The winds of life were torrential. And yet, I unmistakably heard Jesus’ invitation to Surrender my cares to Him in order for Him to lead me through the Process toward Victory.  It was a choice. I made it in faith.

Ever been there? In the worst season of your life. Knuckles white from holding onto the ropes/reins of your life, only to be confronted with Heaven’s invitation to simply let go? This ain’t no Disney Princess movie singing “Let it Go” with Olaf cracking jokes in the background… Nope! This is hardcore hitting winds of life, with no way out. Life and Death decisions.

So when we realize that Jesus is in our boat, enduring the storm with us… and yet draws close to us, embraces us and whispers in our ear to simply trust Him by letting go.  The Surrendering… Letting out the Sails… takes great Faith!

But when we do choose to trust Jesus, releasing the ropes from our blistered and tired hands… a valuable exchange occurs. The sails of our heart violently unwind from the pressing winds as we most assuredly anticipated. All momentum is lost, lurching the boat to the mercy  of the waves in an uncontrolled state with rain, wind, thunder and lightning seeming laughing at our loss of control.

And then the fear and anger rises within our heart at the confusion of our current state. What are You doing Lord!… Why Jesus?!… I don’t understand?!… I trusted You?!

And there it is… Authenticity.  We finally reveal our true heart. That is when Jesus can move us to the next level of the journey… Intimacy.

-INTIMACY- 

I’ve learned in my life that nothing is really worth doing/having unless Jesus is with me. Even in the seasons of letting go. Letting Out the Sails of My Heart… feeling powerless… vulnerable… exposed… It’s worth it. Why?

Because it’s just the beginning of understanding how much Jesus truly loves me and is for me. When I choose to Let Out the Sails of My Heart, I choose to live authentically. Refusing to be a man with a closed off heart. Even if it scares the hell out of me. Literally. Fear is replaced by Faith. How?

In our state of pain and confusion, Jesus is with us, as He’s always been. Only now, we have invited Him into our situation asking, pleading and sometimes demanding that He do something. It’s in the storms of life when we discover that our paradigms of Jesus being distant and demanding are just simply… wrong!

As our boat flails about with the sail and ropes slapping against the mast and boom… Jesus stands and stills the storm. The wind and the waves obey Him. And I simply sit down in astonishment… “Who is this Jesus?!” echoes within my heart just as it did with the early Disciples:

^“Then he turned to his disciples and said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Haven’t you learned to trust yet?” But they were overwhelmed with fear and awe and said to one another, “Who is this man who has such authority that even the wind and waves obey him?” (Mark 4:40-41)

Surrender leads to Authenticity, which leads to Intimacy… being known and valued for who you truly are. You see, it’s in these moments that Jesus’ authority manifests.  Not in a way that intimidates nor belittles. Rather, in a way that reveals to us more of who we are.

Jesus is always faithful to lead us through to the other side of our storms. Sometimes He calms the storms completely. Sometimes He equips us to navigate through the raging storm.  Regardless, He shows up!  He is faithful to bring us to the other side. And in doing so, we are always changed because of His love for us and our personal experience… our testimony.

Many may not understand and even challenge our faith in God. And yet, we stand on our journey with Jesus and His word, experiencing His love for us. So much so, that we are changed forever. It’s who He is and what He does.

-LOVE- 

Surrender leads to Authenticity, which leads to Intimacy, which leads to Love. I’m not one to write much about love. Love has been attacked in my life. I thought I knew what love was. But for the past 6 years, I’ve been on a journey discovering new depths of life.

Previously, I defined Love based on my experience with people. Family, Friends, Marriage and Fatherhood. Now… I look to Jesus. He has led me through a journey of letting go… Although lonely at times, this has been an important work for me.  Learning to Love by Letting Go sounds like an oxymoron. And yet, I am proof that Jesus’ ways are not my ways. His wisdom supersedes mine and always leads me in truth and love.

As I continue to learn how to Let Out the Sails of My Heart, I’m learning more about myself and who Jesus is. And in that journey, I am learning how to better love others in my life.  Encouraging them to live in Surrender, Authenticity, Intimacy and Love. For me, life is about Legacy. I want a life with purpose. I want to have a Song and a Story worth telling for generations.

-SONG & STORY- 

Even though there are chapters I wish weren’t written, I’m proud of how they have been and are being redeemed. I now have a Song and a Story worth sharing. Jesus has turned my most devastating storms of life into what great stories are made of. He came to my rescue!

And now that I have gone through the transformation process of Letting Out the Sails of My Heart, I see myself in a new light. I now understand the hidden areas of my heart and how God created me to let those colors fly.

You see, even as a caterpillar has no idea of its future… neither do we! Most of us fight the process of metamorphosis and breaking out of our shell and letting out those sails. It’s dark, lonely, painful, confusing, vulnerable and more. And yet, SO WORTH IT! I want those wings! I want the beauty and life experiences they bring! How about you?

In all of this, it’s the miracle of what is happening after the storms that still surprises me. I was left with peace in the process of learning how to live in new levels of trust. Jesus began to be the source of my momentum instead of trying to rein the winds of life. I learned how to trust God’s leading instead of my own. He brought refreshing gentle winds that filled my entire heart. Not merely the small sliver of sail that I chose to expose. No. My entire heart was let out. He honored my journey and is now leading me to new destinations that I never would have experienced in my own strength. And… it’s just the beginning!

PRAYER:  Lord Jesus, You know the depths of my heart and our journey together. This journal only scratches the surface of what I’ve learned over the past 6 years. I thank You for the opportunity to choose You. Thank You for showing me how much You love me and are for me. Help me live my life in this new season in such a way that honors the heart You have given me. As I learn to let the sails fly, I ask that You continue to make it all count. I want Legacy. I want Love. I want all that You have for me and my family. Teach me how to help others learn how to Let Out the Sails of Their Heart!

–SAILS–

I spent so many years stuck in my head… Couldn’t see past myself. All the time you were right here in front of me. A part of me. Inside of me. And patiently You spoke to me. And You set me free. And so naturally, I’m living from my heart. This is just the beginning. This is just the beginning of a new way of living with You! I Let Out the Sails of My Heart. Here I am, here You are…

“Fear Can Go to Hell”…

SCRIPTURE: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)

OBSERVATION: When John first met Jesus, he and his brother James were nicknamed “Boanerges” which means, “Sons of Thunder“… I think it’s safe to say Jesus knew what He was doing.  No one disputed this nickname.  People probably just shook their heads and raised their eyebrows in agreement.  Sometimes silence says it all.

And yet, John and James were 2 of the 3 closest to Jesus.  Peter, James and John… They were Jesus’ trusted inner circle.  They saw and heard things first.  Jesus trusted them.

Why?… Why did Jesus let these 3 men in with their known reputation?…
What did Jesus see deep within their hearts that was waiting to be released?

Because Jesus loved them as Sons.  He created them with Hearts of Passion, Grit and Endurance that cried out for Justice… All of this was built upon a hidden foundation of Love that wouldn’t be swayed by the storms of life.  These Boanerges would be the Bridge Builders and Bible Communicators the Church would be built on. Jesus knew what He was doing.

So much so, that at the end of his life, John was known as the “Apostle of Love.”

APPLICATION:  I am a Boanerges.  I too am a Bridge Builder and Bible Communicator.  No, I’m not to add to the Canon we know as scripture.  And yet, Jesus is still writing my story.  I have a song and a story because of God’s love.  I am very proud of the man that I’ve become.  Mess and all… I know I’m loved by Jesus.  I am a son of the King.  I am forgiven and set free by Jesus’ love for me.  He went first.  He gave His all for me.  I want to do the same.

My heart cries out with a similar thunder as John’s, and yet at the end of my days, I won’t be known as an Apostle of Love. No… I will be known as a Gentle General.  How do I know this?  Because Jesus told me.  This is my new nickname.  I’m not there yet, but I’m walking out my transformation one day at a time. Day by day, I am becoming the man God has created me to be as His son, Eric Richard Robison, a Bridge Builder and Bible Communicator.  A Gentle General.

Jesus went first.  On the cross, Jesus willingly gave His life for all mankind.  John wrote the account of his first hand witness of Jesus’ crucifixion and death, and what Jesus spoke to him,

“When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” And he said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home.” (John 19:26-27)

Some of the very last words Jesus spoke on earth was entrusting his Mom to John… yes, John… the Boanerges.  John was never the same.  His heart broke along with Jesus’ that dark day on Golgotha.  These life events of brokenness were redefined 3 days later.  Jesus rose from the grave just as He said He would!  Until his dying breath, John would serve Jesus as the Apostle of Love.  He has legacy!

So I suppose the life lesson for me in all this is simple really.  There will be Friends, Family, Foes and Loved Ones who will choose to define me as Boanerges. That’s OK.

Don’t get me wrong. I care. Sometimes too deeply.  But, I care more about who Jesus says I am.  So, I trust God in the journey.  Fear can go to hell.  Shame can go there too.  I know whose I am.  God I belong to You…

And with that heart cry, I choose Love.  Let that Thunder through my life story!
Those who journey with me will have the same heart cry.  Love conquers all. Period.

I want my life story to be written in such a way that people see Jesus.  Not me.  But I’m not called to live a perfect life.  I’m not ashamed of my story nor my scars.  I am loved by my King Jesus who has chosen to keep his scars in Heaven for all to see.  He took my shame and fear upon Himself.  He went first. Love conquers all.

And just like John, the Boanerges before me, my heart has broken.  But this is my point.  Jesus has the last word on my life.  He created me as a son.  He loves me.  Love loves me.  He will finish what He started.  I will trust Him in the process.  I am Eric Richard Robison, a Bridge Builder and Bible Communicator, a Gentle General.

PRAYER:  Thank you for those who are seeking You as I am tonight Jesus.  Bless them.  Keep them.  I pray that the eyes of their heart would be opened to Your love.  Help them redefine what Fear and Shame brought to their minds.  Help them remember whose they are. I pray that the well springs of their heart would break forth in such a way that they cannot contain it. Bring a water shed night of breakthrough, blessing their heart cry. I pray that dancing and songs of joy would follow your outpouring upon them.  Love them lavishly Jesus!

Oh, and one more thing…

Fear can go to Hell.  Shame can go there too.
I know whose I am.  God I belong to You!

“Song & Story”…

SCRIPTURE: “A new song for a new day rises up in me every time I think about how he breaks through for me! Ecstatic praise pours out of my mouth until everyone hears how God has set me free. Many will see his miracles; they’ll stand in awe of God and fall in love with him!” (Psalm 40:3)

 

OBSERVATION: This morning @ Churchome Pastor Judah reminded us of King David’s legacy of being known as, A Man after God’s Own Heart. Even the lyrics that David wrote in the Psalm above, clearly gives God credit. He understood throughout his life journey that God was always the One who brought the breakthrough.

David remembered how he waited patiently on the Lord and acknowledged how Heaven heard his heart cry and confirmed it by lifting David out of his circumstances and set him on solid ground.  His response?  A Song and a Story!

APPLICATION: I am a man who has a Song & a Story. Well, I have a story at least. I’m not much of a musician and you definitely don’t want to hear me sing 😉 So, maybe the song will come later!  But this is a saying that I’ve taken from a movie that came out a while back called, Australia. I’ve spoken this over my kids and a few whose paths have converged over time with mine.

The scene I remember is towards the end of the movie. A young boy had been summoned by his Grandpa to join him journeying throughout the Outback. This was a right of passage and part of aboriginal culture. His life led him to this defining moment. And by saying yes to the adventure ahead, he had to leave loved ones behind. And they had to redefine what letting go really meant. It wasn’t a moment to mourn, rather a moment to celebrate. This was a defining chapter in his story!

Letting go is never easy. Loving is even harder. And yet, letting go may be one of the highest forms of love that we can offer someone.

Do you have a Song & a Story?  Yes, you do.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

If you feel stuck right now and need a breakthrough, wait patiently on the Lord. Don’t give in to Fear, Shame or Confusion.  We can’t let them win. Look up past the propaganda falling around you and know that Heaven hears your heart cry. The same hand from Heaven will lift you out of your circumstances and set you on solid ground. Jesus can be trusted at His word. And if you are in doubt… remember, you have a Song & a Story because of God’s love for you. If you don’t believe me… ask Him. He’s faithful to answer.

PRAYER:

You’re giving us new memories…
To all the places shame wrote our story

You’re giving us Your memory
It’s not just perspective…
It’s innocence, restored

You’re giving us Your memories
You’re giving us a new memory

You’re rewriting our story
…Our story with your love

“Almost Human”…

SCRIPTURE: “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:7-8)

OBSERVATION: John’s message was grounded in the person of Jesus Christ, whose love changed the world.  However, John wasn’t always known for love.  In fact, he was known as a Tough Guy, a Fighter… a Scrapper!  I sum this up with one word, “Capable!”

The Bible even gives of an account when he was wanting to call down fire from heaven to consume people who rejected him and his message… I kid you not!  These boys earned their nickname as the “Sons of Thunder“.  “Oh shhh… here they come!  Who?  The freakin’, Son’s of Thunder, that’s who!  Oh snap.  What do they want now?!”… I can only imagine the stories that earned this title for John and his brother James.  I’m going to ask them for more stories when I see them in heaven!

APPLICATION: I have had many nicknames over the years.  But they usually all sifted down to, “Robison”.  Yeah, my name pretty much summed up my “Sons of Thunder” days.  My best friend and I kid around about this all the time.  We believe God hasn’t let us live in the same state all these years because of the trouble we would find ourselves into.  Hehe… But God loves me best.  I’m in Seattle.  He’s in Kansas! 😉

Hearts start out so open in our youth and then over the grind of the passing years, for various reasons, most of us close our hearts from the inside.  It’s sad really.  Keeping your heart open to God and others takes courage. But it is worth it!

I’ve been on my own journey over the past 5 years.  It’s taken longer than I thought, but the work that I set out to do years ago is now paying off.  I still have much work to do, but the core areas of my heart have been revived from a cold flat-line…  The chambers that remain to be healed are those I’m not even self-aware of… and I’m pretty much off the charts with self leadership/assessment.

There is a struggle between man’s heart and heaven’s heart within every believer.  Love is at the core of this tension.  Jesus is love.  So when all emotions are sifted, what remains is Love… or no love.  Jesus or no Jesus.

Sometimes, it seems like life without emotions, vulnerability, authenticity would be so much easier.  But it’s not the life heaven created us for.  Being calloused, calculated and closed off is not what it means to be alive… human.  Love… Jesus… brings life to our hearts in unstoppable ways.  It’s difficult to explain really.  But once The King of Kings steps in the room of your heart, everything changes.

I’m a movie and music nerd who loves mythic leadership.  So, I’ve been thinking about the narrative of Blade Runner.  Replicants somehow make the shift to be more human than their creators in the way they love and sacrifice for one another.  It’s a good reminder for me to make sure that I know who I am and what I’m willing to live and die for.  Love is at the core of our identity this side of heaven and throughout eternity.  Love is what makes us, HUMAN.

Check out Lauren Daigle’s account of the meaning behind her song featured in the Blade Runner 2049 movie.  We are all on a journey to discover God’s best for our lives and how we may play our part in God’s divine plan.  I believe at the core of every human is a God shaped void, that can only be filled by Jesus.  Once we open our hearts from the inside out to the King of Kings… Our Heavenly Father releases all of heaven’s resources by the Holy Spirit to experience what it truly means to be Human…

Don’t underestimate the power of this Love…

PRAYER: Make it count Jesus.  I trust You.

“No Plan B”

SCRIPTURE: “Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:6)

OBSERVATION: David is famous for many things, good and bad.  An incredible Warrior, King, Leader, Poet and Musician just to name a few.  Yet he was a flawed man.  A Betrayed man, Angry, Lustful, Adulterer, Murderer, Absent Father and more… The Bible perfectly displays both sides of the men and women of faith.  Life lessons can be learned from those who have gone ahead of us.  I for one purposed at a young age, to learn from the wisdom of ages, the Bible.  For in it, are thousands of years worth of examples of how God’s love prevails.  There is no Plan B with the Love of God…

APPLICATION:  How honest should I be here?… Life application of God’s word is personal.  Life giving.  Life changing.  Full of hope.  Leading to a future worth fighting for.  Worth standing for.  Worth living for.  Period.

Why?… Because Jesus is real.  His love is real.  Heaven is real.  Hell is real.  Jesus’ life, death, resurrection and ascension are all…real. And He will come back one day as King.  The story is not over.  He is coming for His sons and daughters.  This is the age of grace where life choices will determine our fate this side of heaven and for eternity.

“Brothers, what we do in life… echoes in eternity.” Now, I know that phrase is a pretty cool meme from the movie, Gladiator.  I confess, I’ve raised my sword in allegiance when battle lines were drawn in my own life.  But that was a life-chapter lived years ago.  I now stand in a spacious place full of peace, promise, protection, provision and more.  Jesus is who He says He is.  He loves.  Completely.

So this morning, I’m simply enjoying my coffee and quiet time reflecting on my life – past, present and future.  I’m in a good place.  I’m excited about what is to come.  And with that, so incredibly grateful to Jesus for showing up when I needed Him the most.  He is Faithful to love His sons and daughters.

Years ago, a friend sent me these words encouraging me to remain focused on who Jesus is and how His love will lead me through to the other side… Prophetic words of faith and hope that I’ve held on to for over 4 years:

“You are MY son and you are whole and new. It is my nature to restore to breathe life to anyone who comes into my presence. No son of mine is damaged. You are my master piece my work of art, my beloved! No evil shall conqueror you. You know what it means to have covenant, you value it more than many and my covenant with you is secure. Hold on…hold on…the seasons are changing. I am doing something new and different than you have seen in the past. Your past is no longer a good indicator of your future. No more destruction and doom for my son who has proved faithful in the most excruciating and painful circumstances. You can’t anticipate what I am doing. It’s just too good. I am the Good Father. I will not give you a stone when you ask for bread. No son of mine gets scraps. I am the King and you are MY child and you shall receive a royal inheritance and this does not depend on your own strength and ability. Fear not your end points because my strength is made perfect in your weakness. You are not alone. Start declaring to those mountains to move; declare the impossible. Declare the promises I have given you. Psalm 18. I am coming to rescue you. I am your rescuer! I delight in you so much. I am bringing you into a spacious place of peace and freedom.”

Yes, it’s personal.

Jesus is personal. His love is real.  My life is proof of His goodness and faithfulness.  Jesus, in all His goodness and kindness pursued me when I was far from Him.  And in my weakness, He came running.  He broke through the gates of hell to rescue me.  He is faithful.  There is no plan B with the love of God… He is faithful.

So for those of you who need a miracle.  Need a breakthrough.  Need an answered prayer.  Or have had dreams die.  Circumstances have crushed your hope.  Or simply defeated without direction… just like King David experienced and wrote about… God’s love remains.  Jesus is faithful to keep His word.

Life may not have turned out the way you thought.  Life is hard at times.  Sometimes with no answers.  Those are the days of decision.  What will you believe?  Who will you trust? What will you live for? What and who are you willing to die for?

In those moments… remember you have a loving Father in Heaven who loves you.  You have a King and Savior who gave His life for you.  He died in such a way that we would have life.  Life abundantly – this side of heaven and in eternity.  You see… life is a love story.  Attacked, betrayed, beaten and more… regardless… Love remains!  Jesus is alive!  Hope is alive!

There is no Plan B with the Love of God…

PRAYER:  Make it count Jesus.  I trust you.  I choose to follow You.  Yes, even when you call me off the map.  I’m a bit used to it by now.  Not sure what’s coming next.  I have my thoughts on this.  They are all good.  I never had a plan B… neither did You.  So I choose to trust You Jesus.  Make it count.

“Find Me”…

SCRIPTURE: “And Jesus, crying out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit.” Having said this, He breathed His last. Now when the centurion saw what had happened, he began praising God, saying, “Certainly this man was innocent.” ”  (Luke 23:46-47)

OBSERVATION:  Jesus gave His life that we may have life.  History is marked with the Love that none of us deserve and yet His nail-scarred hands, feet and side… remain pierced in Heaven as a reminder of the price He willingly paid.  Find me Grateful,  Find me Thankful, Find me on my knees…

APPLICATION:  I choose to be thankful, grateful for the song and the story God has given me.

I’m choosing to remember well the people and seasons of life I’ve had up to this point.  The more I walk with Jesus this side of Heaven, the more I see His will in all things.  Every chapter of life can and will be used to glorify Jesus if we are willing to simply trust Him at His word and… Follow Him!

Sounds easy doesn’t it?  It’s not.  But it’s so worth it.  Every step of the journey.

Why?  Because lives depend on it.

I’m grateful today with a healed heart because of who Jesus is.  He has never, nor will He ever leave me. In every season, He is faithful and more than enough.

Today, I choose to lift Jesus up higher in my life.  I am nothing without Him.  He is my King, Savior and Best Friend.  He has walked with me through every step of life and will continue to do so throughout eternity.  Jesus’ love changes everything.

I am a blessed man regardless of the scars I carry.  They pale in comparison to Jesus’.  And like my King before me, mine represent my choices to give my life for the ones I love.  It’s ok.  It’s all worth it.  He knows.

PRAYER:  Jesus, I love You.  Thank You for leading me and loving me through every step of the journey. Because of who You are, my heart is healed, I run with renewed strength and I’m more than enough.  You are faithful.  My past, present and future are Yours.  I anticipate how you will write the 2nd half of my life in such a way that will save many lives.  I still choose to live this life of Suddenlies following You Off The Map.  I trust You.

Find me Grateful, Find me Thankful, Find me on my knees.  Find me dreaming,  Find me singing, Find me lost in Your grace.  Find me Grateful,  Find me Thankful, Find me on my knees.

“Wholeheartedly!”…

SCRIPTURE: “ Whenever Moses went into the Tabernacle to speak with the Lord, he heard the voice speaking to him from between the two cherubim above the Ark’s cover—the place of atonement—that rests on the Ark of the Covenant.  The Lord spoke to him from there.” (Numbers 7:89) 

OBSERVATION: Moses had the Tabernacle set up as a place of seeking God’s presence and to worship the Great I AM.  I have studied this for years and while I was in Israel had a chance to walk through a reconstructed version of what this must have been like.  Fascinating.  It was a place of seeking God’s presence.  And for Moses, it was the place where God audibly spoke to him as a friend…

APPLICATION:  I have had the opportunity to experience seasons in my own wilderness of life.  Yes, you read that correctly.  It’s an honor to reflect on the past and stand tall knowing I heard God’s voice as Moses did.  Sometimes I sought His voice, other times I ran from it.  While still yet, there were moments that stood still when I heard His voice cutting through all I was facing.  Those moments were surprising to me.  I was not seeking.  I was not expecting.  God simply showed up.  And with a few words Jesus changed everything.

I’m in a new season of life.  Everyday is filled with new.  I’m so grateful!

So this morning, I’m sitting here in my favorite coffee shop once again seeking God’s voice.  It’s not the location that streamlines a better reception with heaven.  It’s the heart.  And I don’t know about you, but my heart is far from perfect.

In fact I’ve earned a few nicknames along the years that I’ve answered to.  Names like:  “Daddy Kurchak”, “Caesar”, “David Bannister”,  “The Patriot”, “007”, “Jason Bourne”, and my favorite, “Robison”… which pretty much sums up all of them.  I am called to be a “Gentle General”.  It’s the gentle part that I’m still working on with all I’ve been through.  But I’m getting there!  My kids can confirm that my heart is changed… I even cry at Disney movies now?!  Definitely a new season with a new heart and I’m sure I’ll earn a new set of nicknames in the near future 😉

It’s no secret that I’m passionate about leading and loving my family.  And I will do all in my power to provide for and protect the ones I love.  So… I understand I am completely unworthy of hosting time with the King of Kings. And yet… Jesus shows up at my table every time I purpose in my heart to hear His voice. It’s difficult for me to understand this fully, but He is honored when I make time for Him.  And so is He with you.

I realize the Tabernacle and the Temple are gone.  Temporal places that represent God’s presence.  Now, Jesus’ death and resurrection has allowed for us to be filled with His Holy Spirit.  We have now become the destination of God’s presence.  He lives in and through us as sons & daughters.  Amazing!

With this truth, I have had the opportunity to experience certain places where God shows up in power and glory.  Biblically there are marked places such as mountains, gardens, rivers and more as memorials of where God showed up.

I have a few myself.  However, during the past 2 years I have experienced God’s presence, life changing words and miracle moments that have shaped me greatly and set the trajectory for my future.  This place is what I have come to call, “The Tent of Healing”.

There isn’t anything special about the setting.  There is no marble, gold nor ornament furnishings as in the days of old.  In fact, the setting is very simple and has even moved between two cities.  What I’ve come to respect is the prerequisite that qualifies this place for God’s presence.  It is the heart.  Faith, Hope, Love.

These are the prerequisites that God is looking for in His kids.  “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord.” (Jeremiah 29:11-14)

Many times I have entered The Tent of Healing with a heart that was far from Faith, Hope, Love.  And yet, I made up my mind to show up expecting Jesus to speak.  He did every time.  He’s faithful.  Moses entered the Tent, approached the Ark of the Covenant with eyes focused on the place of atonement between the cherubim expecting God to speak.  Jesus has made us one with Himself.  Atonement has been defined in Jesus’ resurrection and the gift of salvation.  We are at one with God.  He lives in the heart of his children and speaks to us as a friend, just like Moses experienced.

The bible says, “Wholeheartedly”.  But what does that really mean?  God showed up for me when I was at my lowest; broken, betrayed, bitter and more.   I showed up with a flat-lined heart.  And yet, Jesus saw this as an act of worship.  I had nothing to offer Him except what was left of my heart.  It wasn’t much, but it was all I had.  Because I entered the Tent of Healing desperate to hear God’s voice in my life, He showed up as promised, “If you look for Me wholeheartedly, you will find Me.  I will be found by you.”

Jesus sees our heart different than we do.  What defines “Wholehearted” to God is not how we feel or what we have or haven’t done.  Rather, it’s defined by the motives that we seek God’s presence.  I’m convinced that Jesus speaks the loudest in between our heart and our mind.  This is the place where we come to the truth of atonement.  Where our motives bow before our King and give Him honor with gratefulness that He has made us one with Himself.  I want to be a man whose heart and hands are submitted to my King.  Not because He demands it, rather out of love for who He is and what He has done. I am nothing without Jesus.

I’m also convinced that there is something to say about God showing up in the presence of 2 or more who are seeking and praying in agreement.  There is a tangible power and presence released in those times. Sometimes felt immediately.  Other times, there is a delayed chain of events.  Regardless, Jesus is honored by hearts who wholeheartedly seek Him.

So for me, I’m grateful for the experiences I’ve had over the years when I’ve witnessed Jesus showing up and speaking to me.  I still drive to some of these places to remember and seek more.  I’m also grateful for the places where people have invested in me, seeking God’s best for me.  When I couldn’t do or bring much of anything, God not only received me but was proud of me for showing up.

“The Tent of Healing” – I am convinced that God has something in store for me as a Bible Communicator and Bridge Builder.  This place was life changing.  The experience was defining.  I’m not sure exactly what God has in store for me.  But what I do know is that it will be good.  This Joseph story is about to get good! So excited!

PRAYER:  Jesus thank You!  May you make it count!  And thank You for those who have and are investing in my life.  May I be a man You can use to help others in the days ahead.  May my life story somehow capture and communicate Your love for Your kids.  I have a new heart now thanks to You.  May my life story help others seek Your presence and hear Your voice in their own Tent of Healing experience.  Trusting You and Your timing.  Grateful!

“Your Love is Loyal”…

SCRIPTURE: “Jesus fully realized all that was going to happen to him, so he stepped forward to meet them. “Who are you looking for?” he asked.”  (John 18:4)

OBSERVATION:  Jesus knew he was betrayed.  He knew the soldiers were approaching and the exit interview had begun for his time on earth as our Messiah.  The time had come.  Jesus would be betrayed, brutally mistreated and murdered on a cross… for me and you.  This is what He came for.  It would hurt.  It would break His heart.  He would be beaten, bleed and be break in our place.  Why?  Because Jesus loves us deeply.  So much so, that He died for us before we even had a chance to reciprocate.  This is Love.  This Love is Loyal.

APPLICATION:  Jesus was so confident of who He was and His life purpose, that He chose to turn and face His enemies.  He not only turned towards them, Jesus stepped forward to meet them.  This is Authority. This is Power.  This is Peace.

What is approaching your prayer time today?  Lies, Betrayal, False Accusations, Conspiracy, Enemies, Unjust Circumstances?… Whatever they are, Jesus can handle it.  He has gone before us in every way.  You can trust Him.  His Love is Loyal.

Jesus’ words to us are simple yet powerful, “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) He knows. Whatever you may be going through…He knows and is with your.  His Love is Loyal.

So what does it mean to be ‘Loyal’? “Giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution.”  Jesus lived this out perfectly, so we can have confidence when our world is unpredictable at best.

I can say I’ve been on both sides of the line in my life.  But most of the time, I’m wired to be loyal… to a fault at times.  Everyone will have to deal with betrayal in one form or another this side of heaven.  It’s not a question of if, rather when.  The more important question is what will you do when it approaches you?  Will you run from it?  Or will you choose to follow Jesus’ example and step forward to meet it speaking into the atmosphere the question they must answer, “Who are you looking for?”

In my case, betrayal had hit hard when I least expected it… and from the one I never would have imagined would turn against me, our kids and our God.  Over a year later, betrayal came knocking at my door.  I stepped forward to meet them and asked, “What do you want?!”… They didn’t fall backwards as in the garden of Gethsemane.  Rather I had to deal with a forced entry into my home.  Legal boundaries are in place now with contempt of court and restraining orders awarded against those who came against me and my family.   You can’t make this stuff up… Crazy.

Loyal hearts don’t run.  They stand their ground and face those who come against them.  Peace, Power and Authority manifest because of God’s presence in one’s life.  Because Jesus is Loyal, we are too called to be Loyal.

Because Jesus knew He was sent by the Father to die for the sins of the world in order to make a way to heaven for all of humanity, He remained Loyal.  Jesus chose to step down from His throne and be born a baby, live a full life and willingly give His life as a sacrifice for the sins of the world.  This was His mission, and He chose to fulful it.  His Love was and is Loyal.

I suppose the point of this morning’s journal for me is to realize how personal Jesus’ loyalty was and is. Firstly, Jesus’ loyalty was for the Father.  Secondly, Jesus’ loyalty was for you and me.  His vision was clear. He know what was at stake.  He knew they why’s for His task at hand and He met it head on!  He knew facing unjust circumstances and betrayal was a matter of life and death.  His Love is Loyal.

Jesus’ love and loyalty was first for His Father.  And then towards us.

I’m sitting here this morning pondering these truths in my life today.  I could have spun out so many different ways for so many reasons.  But I know my God is Loyal and calls me to be loyal as well… even when others are not.  Life isn’t fair.  But God is Just.

Just because I don’t see how everything will be redeemed, doesn’t mean that it won’t.  There is a process, a journey to walk out.  Many people find their identity in position, power, possessions.  All three can be taken from you.  I want to be a man who lives life to the fullest knowing that I alone am responsible for my story. In the end, the only thing you own is your story.  I am determined to live a good one.

IN THE END, THE ONLY THING YOU OWN IS YOUR STORY.  I AM DETERMINED TO LIVE A GOOD ONE.

I choose to be loyal to Jesus since He has and is so loyal to me.  His Love is Loyal.

PRAYER:  I trust You Jesus.  I choose to follow You today.  My future is in Your hands.  I know my story isn’t finished yet.  You have promised to make it all count.  You have said that You will honor me for I have honored You.  Life isn’t fair, but You are just.  Your Love is Loyal.

“This Love”…

SCRIPTURE: “The Lord will hold you in his hand for all to see — a splendid crown in the hand of God.”  (Isaiah 62:3)

OBSERVATION:  I understand this was said over Jerusalem.  About how God views His people and the city of His people.  But today, I can’t help but think about the personal application for how God views His sons and daughters…

APPLICATION:  This month is a unique time for me and my family.  It’s the weeks before my son’s graduation from High School.  It’s a wonderful season of my life because of who Jesus is.  My kids and I are so very grateful for this new season.  So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my life, my kids, our story and how in the world did life go so quickly to get me here only weeks before my oldest son graduates.

It’s been anything but dull.  A great adventure has been written on my heart so far.  One of love, miracles, favor but also betrayal and brokenness.  I suppose what excites me the most is all that I’ve done in my life up to now is on track with what God is doing in my present, today.  And what I’m doing today is on track for my future.  Even though I’m not where I want to be yet, I stand tall with my kids knowing that we are positioned and poised for blessings.  That is a good feeling.

My heart tonight at this coffee shop isn’t about leadership, nor problem solving, nor dealing with difficult people in my life. Tonight, I’m simply at the place of resting in God.  Resting in His presence and promises.  When I choose to lay it all before God, He works on behalf of me.  He takes delight in doing so.

My kids one by one this month have come up to me and opened up about what’s been on their hearts.  Some exciting and fun dreams being released and some hurts being healed… for both sides of the line, I’m so very encouraged.  I have legacy.  My kids and I have always been close, but now there is a forged fellowship that will never be broken.  We are deeply bonded especially by the life-chapters we walked together for the past 2 years.

They trust me.  They know I love them.  They know I’m for them.  They know I’ll never give up on them.  They know this love is an everyday kind of love.  I’ll never quit.  They know this.  And they know that Jesus hasn’t and will never give up on me/us either.  God’s love doesn’t leave us all alone.  It never forgets its own.  This love won’t leave me because my past is bad.  This Love…

This month I’ve had the privilege of ministering to my kids in such intimate ways tailored to exactly what they are going through today, day by day.  This has surprised me.  For those who know my story, I should be messed up.  I shouldn’t be able to shepherd my family with such precision & patience.  And yet, when my kids need it, I have a deep deep well to draw from.

Sometimes I’m surprised at what is available for my kids from within my heart.  That encourages me.  Because of the pain I’ve endured… I shouldn’t be able to love this way.  I should be bound up in bitterness.  But I’m not.  I know this is because of who Jesus is.  He has led us here to this place of promise, peace and protection.  This Love… Jesus… has done this for me and my family.  I’m so grateful.

My ramblings are symptomatic I suppose of me being a guy and trying to get down to the core of my emotions.  This Love… is not like anything I’ve ever known and doesn’t make sense.  This Love will ruin every fear.  I don’t need to be scared.  That fear is ruined.  This Love.. makes it so you can finally be free.  There is no chain This Love can’t break.  So be free! 

I guess at the core of my heart tonight is the very reality that I’m a better man than I’ve ever been before and my kids are blowing me away at their love reciprocated towards me when I least expect it.  I have fought so very hard to uproot strategies that have been hurled against me and my kids that sometimes like tonight, I sit here in shock that God has done it.  His love has made a way where their was none.  I’m free.

And in this reality, it’s been on my heart how very true it is that God holds us up in heaven on display as a proud Father.  Even in our mess, He considers us beautiful crowns of victory.  We are sons and daughters who are victorious.  We are beautiful in His eyes.  This Love… brags about you and me in heaven.  God loves us so.  I am taking this to a deeper level in my heart and so are my kids.  We are loved.  Because we are loved, everything changes!

This Love… is an everyday kind of love.  Every morning I’m in it.  This Love… is an everyday kind of love.  Every evening I’m in it.  This Love never leaves you to walk a road alone.  His voice calls out above the noise.  This Love doesn’t care if you don’t think you can cut it.  He takes you in and He lifts you up and He gives you faith so you can lift your head and you can run real fast and you can feel His joy.  This Love… This Love… 

I stand today with my kids… with heads lifted high.  Because we know the love of Jesus Christ.  It really doesn’t make sense. It’s pure, heavenly, perfect.  So in the face of an imperfect world, it’s such a joy to finally be free and experience the freedom that Jesus has given us.  There is no chain This Love can’t break…

We have made our choice.  We’ve walked out the past two years following Jesus.  He has broken off every chain forged against us.  There is no chain This Love can’t break.  He’s teaching us how to love.  He’s helped us forgive.  There is no chain This Love can’t break.

PRAYER:  This Love… Jesus… my heart is to know You.  To really taste and see.  To really walk with You.  To have my eyes open, to see You.  To have my heart open, to know You.  Everyday… This Love is an everyday kind of love.  So grateful for You Jesus.

“The Victory of Love”…

SCRIPTURE: “Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens, you who have done great things. Who is like you, God? Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once more.”  (Psalm 71:19-21)

OBSERVATION:  David’s son Absalom had spent years brewing with bitterness against his dad for not dealing with the rape of his sister by their brother.  Offense turned into hate.  Hate turned into betrayal.  Betrayal turned into war.

David declared this in a time when he has taken those closest to him and fled into the wilderness for his life.  His son Absalom finally struck the match that lit this strategy to once and for all take over as king in place of his father.  It worked, for a season.

He was so bold to seal this act of war by sleeping with all of David’s wives for all to see.  What a horrible event in history. Family is a blessing from God.  And yet unfortunately, family can cause the greatest hurt.  Family members have intimate access to our heart.

So with this truth, David declares his love for God. He chooses to focus on who God is instead of people.  Because of this, David is able to navigate this difficult season. There would be more bad news in this life chapter for David.  But in the end, God blessed him because of his faithfulness to follow his God.  David knew he would endure because His God is unshakable.  David knew God’s love was made to last forever.  David knew because of who his God was, he was built to last.

APPLICATION:  This morning I’m once again taking time at one of my favorite coffee shops to hear from heaven.  It’s a pretty day outside.  The cadence of my heart has finally slowed from the blur of the busy week.  Caffein is beginning to wake me up. Worship music playing while I type this journal. Sometimes I do this out of habbit and knowing that the value is dear to me.  I have history hearing from God by reading His word.  He leads me.  I follow.

And yet, sometimes I don’t want to look at real life.  Don’t want to look at life lessons like this. I want life to be all joy and laughter and good memories.  Here is the crux of it all for me this morning.  I am in a good season.  I am a grateful man for all that God has done in and through my life up to this very moment.

As David chose, I too will declare of how great God is.  He is the One who led me through and leads me on.  For me, it comes down to understanding that this love was meant to last forever.  Jesus is writing a love story within me.  He has brought victory.  My heart will never be the same and yes, I will worship him for all my days.

This morning is a peaceful declaration of the victory of love.  My kids are learning what family truly is all over again.  They know my love is enduring.  They know I will never give up on them.  They know who they are because I have loved them first.

They also know how I’ve walked through this season.  My Heavenly Father has done the same with me.  God has worked through friends and family to make sure I understand that Jesus is greater.  This victory of love, is the victory of family.

I guess when it comes down to it, at the core of who I am is reminded that God isn’t through with me yet.  Yes, I have followed Him and overcome.  God’s love is stronger and alive in me.  And yet, this isn’t the final destinataion.  I am poised and positioned to receive blessings from heaven.  This is what I am so happy about.

Because I have this hope in me, I have hope for my future.  Hope for today is not in vain. So I relax and rest in the very fact that my life is good.  I have my kids.  I have my integrity and character.  And the miracle that is overlooked most days for me is that my heart is tender.  God somehow has helped me to walk through the past 2 years and emerge with a heart that is fit for a general and yet gentle.  Thank You God.

PRAYER:  Jesus, I understand where I’ve come from.  I understand where I am.  I understand where I am going.  You have prophetically given me promises and I believe.  And when I don’t believe, help my faith.  I choose to focus on who You are.  You are all my heart was searching for.  Your love has opened up the door.  You entered my heart forever.  And I will never be the same.  I’ll worship You for all my days.  This love was made to last forever.